"I’m not saying you’re an idiot, I’m just saying a smarter person would have seen that coming."
“I took a blood oath that I wouldn’t tell you what she said about you, but if you bring me some tequila and nachos, I might be inclined to break that oath.”
“If I told you I took a picture of you sleeping last night, would that be creepy or romantic?”
“I was trying to teach myself how to knit and, long story short, I’m in the ER now.”
“I don’t actually know what I’ve done to make you hate me so much, but I don’t care anymore, so either get over it or fuck off.”
“I love you, but the fact that you don’t like ice cream creeps me out a little.”
“If you’re going to McDonald’s and you don’t at least bring me back fries, I’ll never forgive you.”
“I dropped your phone in the toilet, and I’m really sorry, but I’m not reaching in to get it out, so it’s just… it’s gonna stay there until you or someone else gets it out.”
“If you pray for someone to meet an untimely demise, and then they do, are you karmically responsible for their death?”
“I’ve always thought that Harry Potter was overrated.”
“I’m not saying you’re evil or anything, but I’m pretty sure if you crossed a church threshold you would burst into flames.”
“We should have a Disney movie marathon this weekend.”
“I just really need you to shut the hell up right now.”
“I’m a better kisser than you are; you’re just going to have to accept that as a fact of life.”
“Would you rather die by drowning or strangulation? I’m just curious, not, like, plotting your death or anything, I swear.”
“I would do any number of borderline illegal things to get tickets to that show.”
“We should play strip poker tonight.”
"What can I say? Killing is my specialty," she shrugged.
- "why can’t we just get in the running car?!"
- "are you crazy? let’s hide behind the chainsaws!"
- "what’s your favorite scary movie?"
- “i see dead people.”
- "got your nose!"
- "it’s okay, he just wanted his machete back"
- "trick or treat, motherfucka!"
- “Oh, but baby, finding ways for me to die is really your thing. Let’s not forget the O.J. knife with the not-so-retractable blade, the Jim Jones Kool-Aid, which was exactly that…”
- “It’s alive! Look, it’s moving! It’s alive!! It’s alive!!! It’s alive!!!!”
- “They’re heeeeeeeeeeeeere.”
- “We all go a little mad sometimes.”
- "i’ll be right back."
- "we should split up!"
- “Oh, great. I’m sure we’ll all be mutilated beyond recognition by then.”
- “You don’t… get it… do you? This house is pissed. It has no morals, cuz it’s a fucking house!”
- “Congratulations. On a scale of one to ten on the perversity meter, you just hit a seventy-three.”
- "who’s there?"
- “I lied. The house is alive. We’re all gonna die.”
- "here’s johnny!"
- "looks like someone’s trailer park is showing."
- “someone got fucked, someone got killed, and i’m going to p.e.”
- “hey, you wanna play the game, you gotta bring something to the table.”
- "really, who needs a reason? we’re animals. It’s our nature to kill. remember?”
- "hunting… I’d say hunting’s a lot better in the city.”
- "by the way, props to you for killing everyone.”
- “you’ll just have to distract her while I nab the pooch and make with the gore.”
- "if I wasn’t here would you eat her?”
- "bitten? on a full moon. now you’re hairy?”
- “do you remember the fun we had when you poisoned me?”
- “if I were gonna haunt somebody, this would certainly be the house I’d do it in.”
- "darling, the only ghoul in the house is you!”
- "it’s a pity you didn’t know when you started your game of murder that I was playing, too.”
- "oh, I’m sure we’re not going to go running around the house shooting each other, aren’t you?”
"What could you have possibly gotten yourself into that you’d ask for my help?”
"I need them to see in the… dark?"
"Is the concept of electricity new to you? Fine, whatever, come in," Sandra said, stepping aside for the lady to enter.
Tim nodded and readied his stance, staff held in one hand. “Ready.”
Sandra attacked viciously, starting with his unguarded left side. Hoping that attacking his wounded side would trigger some kind of anger response.
"Really?" Shiva’s eyebrows raised. "I assume you’ve taken care of its body, too?"
"Yea yea one more…done!" -He pops up from his crouch and hustles on over to her.- "Ready and able. They get into this place and it’ll hit a timer. Plenty of time for the whole lot to get inside and then blown up. They might even think you died in it."
Shiva nodded. “We should probably head out now, before the SWAT teams show up,” she said, exiting to the garage.
"Without success it seems. Am I supposed to know who you are?"
"Let’s just say I share your best interest."
"Noted." Tim’s response was sharp, and he left the room all but radiating irritation. His mood wasn’t much improved when he returned, though his finger was bandaged and splinted.
"Ready?" Sandra asked coldly. She wasn’t impressed by the boy’s attitude, but was hoping that he would use his anger to fuel his energy.
"I know, but you must train as if I am. How else will you improve?"
"You know, a softer approach isn’t going to hurt me every now and again.” Tim looked up at her, jaw tight with defiance. “Let me splint it, and then I’ll fight you with one hand. Is that training enough for you?”
“Fine. But don’t take your time; when you return, I expect you not to make the same mistakes as before.”